So, once again, I've managed to go more than a whole year without blogging. Last year was, let's just say, an eye-opening experience for me. I endured a
life altering experience which caused me to re-evaluate the important things in my life. It challenged me, and caused me to become a wiser and more compassionate. It also caused a shift in what I was focusing and devoting my time to. Let me share with you what I've been up to...
So after participating in Ironman Tempe 70.3 in October of 2016, which was a huge goal I was working towards, I decided to take a little break physically and mentally. The training and preparation that went into that event took so much out of me. During that period of time, I was working 5am shifts at the University of Utah. Although I was able to get off in the early afternoon, I was exhausted by the time I got home; not to mention it was blazing hot! The times when I wasn't sleeping or working, I was training. Needless to say, I was exhausted after Tempe. Although I still signed up for more races in 2017, most of them were shorter distances than I had been training for.
As I went to the "What Women Want" Expo with my friend, Jen, in April 2017, I decided to sign up for my first martial arts class. I then took my place as a white belt at West Wind Karate. I have loved learning and progressing through the ranks. What is most important for me is the practicality of self-defense I'm learning.
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| photo cred: www.alltotems.com |
I then had an overwhelming spiritual and healing experience with my friend, Nicole, who had the inspiration to perform a foot zone on me. I learned so much about myself in the time we spent together. Not only did I find out about ailments in my body, I gained insight on generational burden I was carrying around, and the energy I shifted in moving to Utah. I was also able to feel the presence of my Lola (grandmother, in Tagalog) who passed away years ago. That event played an active role in the transformation I underwent, and continue to undergo. I released a lot of pent up emotion and energy to be able to heal and transform.
When my "life altering" experience hit, I wasn't sure what the outcome would be. I was scared, and I felt so alone. But I was armed with tools, and with the support of family and friends, around me. I also felt, very clearly, that God and Jesus Christ were there with me, telling me "Everything will be okay." I truly believe things happen for a reason - both my spiritual/healing experience, as well as the life altering experience. Both were necessary for my transformation.
My hibernation hasn't been in vain, however. It has allowed me to reflect on what's important. I've also been learning about
balance. As I was talking with my friend, Nicole, she asked me what that meant. I pondered for a moment, and envisioned something of a see-saw. Balance would be when the see-saw is even on both sides. Yes, true, in the visual sense. However, upon deeper conversation on the subject, that
balance in the middle requires the ups and downs on either side of that playground toy. So as in the body with homeostasis, there must be flow and movement. Otherwise, we would be dead. In life, we need to experience the ups and downs... which allows us to feel and experience, which help us learn the art of balance. But what does that look like with all of life's days passing? Well, that will be different for each individual. As for me, it required first a grounding.
Balance. I'm actually still trying to figure it all out, to tell you the truth. I've always been one to keep myself busy, but I've learned that I did that as a way to "
not feel" some of the emotions that I wanted to push away. Remember the ups and downs? Yeah, I'm learning to
feel those icky feelings that creep up on me every now and then, but also how to remedy and/or actively find out why I'm feeling those feelings. I've also been allowing myself to
just be. I've been exercising my creativity and then also allowing myself to relax. I've still remained active by taking karate and doing yoga, as well as lifting with Ezra twice a week. I've been reading for leisure, journaling, crafting, and painting. I've explored new venues of interest. I've signed up for a class to become a Reiki practitioner, and have plans on re-taking classes in hopes of working towards a different graduate program. I've been learning the art of meditation. I've been reconnecting with and building stronger relationships with friends and family. I've been speaking my truth more
and being honest in my communication. I've loved more than I could have ever imagined. I've poured out my heart. I've allowed my emotions to be raw, and I have allowed others to witness my vulnerability.
By doing all of this, I have literally transformed. Like the raccoon, I've worn a mask for a long time, and am now learning to embrace my true identity and true nature.
