Thanks for sharing this one, Crystal! You're awesome girl! =D
A Soulful Relationship
By Reverend Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share
this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or
other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states,
'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close
one eye.'
Before you get involved and make
a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults are not really important.
Once you decide to commit to
someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and
differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the
relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye
and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many
different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and
strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a
life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but
are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you
bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the
altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make
someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a
life', you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your
happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy,
deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a
thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and
security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
Q. What keeps a relationship
strong?
Answer: Communication, intimacy
(not sex), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some
getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a
shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals
and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice
email.
Growth is important. Grow
together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow
without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You
can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and
assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.
Learn each others family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other
for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these
qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment,
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the
passion.
'Nurture your mind with great
thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.' The grass
withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8. Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?
Always to try to be a little
kinder than is necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied'
is where you put the 'I'. Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
