I rallied my friends and teammates in hopes that I'd have some company to keep me motivated along the way, but only one of my friends showed up. We started at about 8:30am and headed up Emigration Canyon. My friend's knee started bothering her, so she was unsure about riding over to East Canyon, but she later on decided she'd give it a go anyway. We reached approximately the same spot where I had stopped the last time, before her knee started acting up and she wanted to turn back. But being as sweet as she was, she encouraged me to truck ahead with my ride. She said it was so worth it to reach the summit, and that I'd feel like I was "on top of the world."
So I went forward with my goal of reaching the top. I reached the switch backs and knew that this was going to be no easy feat. I made sure to scan the road along the way to look for hazardous spots for the way down. I was passed by many vehicles, some of which were sports cars and motorcycles that left my ears ringing as they revved their engines to make the climb. It was a little scary with so much gravel on corners and no guard rails around sharp turns. It was hot, and I was depleting my water supply with the passing of every mile.
I felt at one point that I would never reach the top. The road kept switching back, and the end was not in sight. I had to stop multiple times to rest due to the grade of the incline. I hurt, I was hot, and I just wanted to be done. So what did I do? I cried. I cried for a couple of different reasons. I cried because I felt mentally defeated, thinking that I would never make it to the top. And I cried because I had a realization...I realized that this goal to reach Big Mountain Summit was much like the faith that I hold to strongly. The climb to the top of East Canyon was a grueling one indeed! At times I wanted to quit and turn back. I could have easily just turned my bike around and rode back to my car. But I had an overall goal... much like the eternal perspective I need to have as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know that the goals I have here on earth are just short term, and that there is more to life than what's here. I need to keep pursuing goals that help me reach a greater goal that awaits.
In beginning this journey to East Canyon, I started with a friend, but she didn't complete the ride with me due to her knee issues. In the journey of my faith, I realize that sometimes we start with family and friends, but sometimes they're not prepared - be it physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Sometimes they're just not prepared to move forward with you and that you must continue on.Being passed up by faster riders and rude motorists is very discouraging and demeaning. At times I felt I was going to get hit by a car. I had to keep reminding myself that even though I'm a slower cycler, I'm out here doing it! And I can live with the fact that I'm a decent person around those who are cycling the roads because I'm a cycler too. When related to practicing my faith, I've encountered those who are self-righteous and tend to act "holier than thou" or those who try and tear down my faith and make me feel bad for being a Mormon. I'm grateful that I've been able to develop and strengthen my own testimony and that even though I'm not perfect, I'm still doing the best I can to be a witness to God.
At times we feel unprepared. And at other times, even when we do prepare, we run out of fuel. But there will be helping hands along the way. I thought I had brought enough water for this ride, and I was careful to ration it out so I had water for the way back, but the ascent up East Canyon was hot and physically taxing. I ended up consuming more water than I had intended to. I also tried to spare some nutrition along the way, as I had lost one of my packets riding down from Little Mountain Summit. As I reached the top, I was out of water. A family that had passed me on the way up recognized me. I had asked them if they knew where I could find water. There were no water sources around, but they actually had enough water to spare me! This reminded me of all tender mercies and blessings I've received unexpectedly as I needed them. I've been blessed to have had prayers answered in ways I didn't expect and have had people put in my life when I needed them. I've been blessed with wonderful church family, amazing Home and Visiting Teachers, and great people that I've served with. They have been the ones to supply me with more water and energy along my spiritual journey.
I realized that sometimes you just need to stop and rest to look how far you've come. There will be times when you have come so far and want to quit, not realizing that the goal is just around the bend. Like I said before, I could have easily turned back and rode back to my car, but I persevered. Although the summit was within grasp when I last stopped, it just felt like I wasn't going to get there. At times, being a member of the church feels difficult. Sometimes we lose hope and we wonder why we do what we do when our prayers don't feel like they're being answered. Or that we don't feel like we make a difference with what we put into our callings. And then we get older and wonder if we'll ever "make it" and pass the test. These questions can cause others to fall away from the gospel. When I feel those feelings haunting me, I know I need to just rest, take a breath, and reset & recharge. I got baptized in 2007, and I've made mistakes along the way. Sometimes I reflect and think that I have so far to go (which in some aspects, I do), but I've come a long way! I didn't think I'd get married and sealed to my husband, Ezra, as early as I did. I didn't even think I'd get to the temple as early in my life as I did. We must never lose hope, because we're closer than we think.
Oh, what joy I felt to reach the summit! And what glorious and majestic views! This ride was such a physical challenge and spiritual experience for me! Those spiritual experiences come to me at such unexpected times, but at times that also teach me a lesson! I'm glad I pushed through even at the toughest time when all I wanted to do was give up!
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